Tomasito's Diary
Sex and the City - A Column

| 02 | The Friendly Talk |

The end of a relationship is the begin of a relationship. That’s at least suggested by a certain girls’ faction. Let’s dive into a new sphere of relationship, some absolutely new dimension of the relative connection to some female person. It’s the begin of a never ever before occurred era of human relationships. “Let’s just stay friends.”

Is this just impudence? To give the now ex-boyfriend and the new-won friend a last, but no least kick into the posterior? So to speak a kick-off to start a new business? Which will obviously be doomed to failure, because this sentence is already the cause to make it break down? It’s the matter of the situation, not the thing that a girl dumps a guy. It’s the sentence that freaks us out. Without that phrase a guy would take it maybe more calmly, but apparently it has to be taken as a final attack of the female opponent in the ring. So the male counterpart takes this as a kind of offensive behaviour and reacts the way he reacts. With lacks of appreciation, a confused look and an internal sprouting anger.

The interesting question is: How many of this new-born friendly relationships have survived? Every Sunday people get asked which politician they’d elect if this Sunday the election takes place. Wouldn’t it be more interesting to carry out at survey every Sunday how many relationships this week have ended by this famous sentence? How many of the dumped guys have stayed friends with the dumping girl? Or, if already more than one week ago, how long they already have managed to carry on staying friends. Two or three weeks already?

Or is this sentence the pure lacking of knowledge what this quadrinominal expression really means? Do girls really believe that guys can keep a relationship with – formerly – a certain part of ‘explicit content’ now without that kind of free time leisure activity? Well, if the relationship lasted already seven years, and the share is already on the decline, yes indeed, then it IS possible to remain friends. But if not, then: No way!

I’m not speaking about men’s behaviour and their preferences, I’m speaking about the lack to understand each other. What a girl maybe really means: I don’t want to sleep with you anymore but I appreciate your company. But what a guy understands: Get a car and drive to another country! Aside from that he just does not believe that it could work. And honestly and logically – it does not work. If there’s still something more in the heart of one than in the heart of the other, the one with more will suffer from the overweight. It’s like diets – do really people that suffer from overweight stick with their diet and get slimmer? The absence of chocolate does it, and so does it the absence of a loved person (that dumped you). You can’t say to chocolate: “Let’s nevertheless stay friends!”


Site by Tomasito - 12.08.2003